【2017 DSE應試系列】就算你有社交障礙亦可以係卷4攞5**

By Natalie Kung
(HK Paideia's English Teacher)

(這次專欄會嘗試由老師以英文，與「你」對話來探討如何克服社交障礙，於英文口試有效溝通。)

It is perhaps impossible for me to underestimate the impact of social awkwardness on an individual. Emma Stone was one of the sufferers. Have you ever thought she was sharing the following:“ The first time I had a panic attack I was sitting in my friend’s house, and I thought the house was burning down. I called my mom and she brought me home, and for the next three years it just would not stop.” 

Symptoms:
It strikes me even further when this has badly influenced people from time to time. I am one of the few who have suffered this and I simply cannot forget people’s gaze when I walk down the hallway; you start to feel tensed shoulders and even fidget when you talk.

Trust me you would not just hamper yourself (to a level of pain) , but also, you might as well “vicariously embarrass” others. They could feel your discomfort too, causing them to become anxious as well. Who’s going to talk? The examiner?

Say no to monopoly of discussion!
Whenever you have to deliver a monologue there are butterflies in your stomach. Even more, it is likely for you to be extremely pushy so you keep dominating other discussions, with minimal pauses in between. You keep saying, “What makes you think in this way?” “Are you sure?” In this scenario, you are not alone. When I was one of those, people commented, "Girl it seems that you haven't talked for ages!" Well, yea. Cool. 

Solutions:
Acknowledge your problem. This is part of your personality and there are also other social etiquette rules which prevent you from unleashing your potential. In DSE, you have to impress the examiner not just with your prowess but also your ability to facilitate a group discussion. 

Raise counter questions instead of interrogatory ones. You are in a group but not an interview room. Scope of discussion: Give some space for others to reply but do not let them occupy the whole time. If you do not click with any candidates do not keep trying on the same person. Switch to another one.  Speak with power:  Don’t mumble but speak loudly and clearly. When you speak loudly, you are forced to slow down. If you talk non-stop, this would indicate nervousness: your lack of confidence renders yourself prone to delivering information in a speedy manner just in case others cannot catch you but you have said something nonetheless.  Control your racing thoughts with as much effort as you could. Don’t say anything if you are not sure (seriously). 

Practice makes perfect…what…you sure you have to tell me about this Nat?
Speak as much as you could: I’m not trying to convince you to speak with strangers. After all, this will be a huge breakthrough. One or two days before DSE, talk as much English as you could. Even if others reply to you in Cantonese, keep talking. This is to make sure you gather enough momentum for your delivery. itself.

Mock Group: You may consider forming a small group with your friends who are also tackling the DSE exam two weeks before your speaking exam. Talk as much as possible with them and note down useful phrases and points. If possible, follow up afterwards. For anyone who insists on studying alone, trust me, group discussion is collective work.

Tips: Vary the group sizes if you want. Alternating group sizes helps bring a variety of minds at the same time. During practice, number of participants do not matter a lot, but the constant exchange of ideas.

Common mistakes and my personal experience:
Bring a notebook to document new useful phrases learnt, as well as comments from your friends who practise with you. Circle mistakes which you frequently occur. Discuss with your study buddies how to overcome those problems. For instance, I used to get confused by what follows after “help”. 

Which option is correct?
a) help + to + verb (infinitive)
b) help + verb in ing form
c) help + verb (infinitive)

(c)  is the normal usage which means an offer of services. (a)  is used to describe serving someone with food or drink. For example, “Sir, may I help you to more roast beef?” (b)  simply does not exist. 

If possible, educate your classmates. The best way to learn is to teach. Organise a focus groupInvite your senior who has done DSE in your “focus group” to evaluate yourself.

Join the Club!
You need some warm-up exercise:

After all, you are not alone. It could literally take me 15 minutes to warm up myself (e.g. constant talking or even humming to myself) before I enter into any unfamiliar occasions. I could even fake a smile until my muscles get tensed up (because I’m not used to this!) My demeanour has obviously betrayed myself even I have tried really hard to act “normally”. 

Drawing of clear boundaries　

However, acknowledge your not so strong part so you could tackle them. It does not count if you keep talking, but there is a need to establish clarity and force within a group discussion, instead of a “mini-presentation”. It is intriguing how speaking could reveal one’s psychological condition to a great extent. Tactics vary from simple rectification of body language, use of formulaic expressions to setting up of conducive learning environment. You are capable of achieving more.

Sorry what if this is just the opposite?
Well, it is lucky you are not like me. Nonetheless, what if you are the opposite: you encounter a socially awkward person in a DSE group discussion. What should you do? Please follow my next article to be uploaded “I can’t believe this happened to me. That person should be banned from any oral exams in his life!”